Vintage Album Covers
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Volume Six |
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After The Dance -
Summertime, and the livin' is gracious. This is what your parents were up to
while you were sneaking around in the hall outside your bedroom. The back cover
provides party recipes like rye-pie sandwiches and lunch-box date-squares. "Check
out Blondie's giant shoes", quips Darren.
Choice cuts: Summertime, Pagan Love Song, Yummy Rye-Pie (just kidding)
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Dance Little Bird
- This little number was hand-picked for me by audio/video artist and good friend Wayne
Butane of Mesa, Arizona. His commentary, scrawled on a post-it note, succinctly
captures my own response to this cover: "Words fail me..."
Choice cuts: Milwaukee Polka, Just Another Polka, Happy Wanderer
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Rhapsody In Blue - I just love
this sub-genre, "Covers With Tiny People On Musical Instruments". The fact
that 95% of these tiny people are cute women wearing tights is merely coincidental.
Here's a mental exercise: picture her at a small piano, on a giant clarinet.
Choice cuts: Well, I'd have to go with, uhm, Rhapsody In Blue
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Funny Way of Laughin' - Burl!
You the MAN! Hands down my favorite Big Head cover of all time, complete
with a grinning smirk to rival Hugh Hefner and Bob Dobbs. Pull up an ice block and lend an ear.
Choice cuts: Call Me Mr. In-Between, I Ain't Comin' Home Tonight
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Don't Just Stand There - Patty's
got a brand new bag. After playing Broadway, winning an Oscar for The Miracle
Worker, and starring in TV's The Patty Duke Show, 18 year old Patty next conquers the pop
charts with one hit (and lots of filler).
Choice cuts: They're all pretty painful. Downtown (?)
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Lots of Love and Peace - It's
not just for hippies anymore. With a Grateful Dead-inspired cover and Frank
Yankovic's sound, Happy Louie thought to score a huge crossover album here. Tell me, why
do accordionists always pose like they're playing? You don't see anybody else
acting like that.
Choice cuts: Musical Polish peaceniks should be seen and not heard.
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Musical Festival - Just what is it
about early Disney albums that makes them so creepy? I mean, several
very potent nightmares are depicted here. Brrrr. Especially
the evil plastic "children". (Nice title graphics, though).
Choice cuts: Punchy the Clown (Brrr)
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The Nutcracker Suite - Is she
cute? Is she wearing tights? Is she miniature-sized? OK, two out
of three ain't bad - here's your quarter Mr. Fleamarket Man. I have no idea how anyone
selected this as an apt cover for Tchaikovsky's "The Nutcracker".
Choice cuts: It's the Nutcracker, OK?
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Relaxing With Perry Como - Isn't this
a delightful tableaux? The strawberries, the book, and the refreshing beverage all
forgotten as Perry casts his spell. This LP is easier to find than the elusive,
"Getting All Hyper With Perry Como".
Choice cuts: Far Away Places, Because, Temptation
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Music For A Quiet Evening - They
just don't make harmonica & orchestra albums like this any more. The couple has
found an unusual pose, yes? A pleasant enough smile, yet there is something
unsettling about her hands. Maybe not such a quiet evening?
Choice cuts: Begin the Beguine, Port of Spain, Huckleberry Finn
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